We in the Toddler Community have been preparing your children to be successful toilet learners since their first day in the classroom. Stability with toilet learning begins with children learning about their own body’s stability, which is why many of our parents have observed that all children stand when having their diapers changed. Stand-up diapering is a unique practice in the Montessori environment and many of our parents have not seen it done before. Children that stand while having their diaper changed are actively engaged in caring for their body, as well progressing their gross motor development, a key component in building independence. Over time, their balance and coordination become more reliable, and this is when we encourage children to remove their own clothing when it’s time for a diaper change.

Selecting clothing should be considerate to a child’s level of independence. Overalls are adorable, onesies are obviously too precious, and those stylish denims are starting to make an appearance once more in favor of the cooler weather. But from the perspective of a toddler who is toilet learning, those types of clothing can be cumbersome. A child’s fine motor skills varies from child to child, but to better understand a toddler’s muscular control and dexterity, attempt this: put on your favorite pair of jeans, then place oven mitts over your hand. Try, without taking the oven mitts off, to unbutton your jeans and pull them down to your ankles. If you find yourself struggling, then envisioning a toddler frustrated with their outfit actually makes sense. We advise our toddlers to have loose elastic-waist pants or shorts when they begin toilet learning.  Children will comfortably gain the confidence to independently push down and pull up their own clothing when the clothing suits the need of that child.

In our Toddler Montessori Prepared Environment, you will find child-size furniture, shelves, utensils, dishware, cleaning tools, and a child-size toilet. No, it’s not a potty-chair, or a training seat. It’s a small, oddly darling, toilet. It’s perfect for any size toddler; it presents no threat while also maintaining its practicality. Of course, it’s not expected to see a child-size toilet in our homes. But by preparing the bathroom environment as much as possible, we reinforce a child’s success during toilet learning. Placing a low stool in front of your adult sized toilet, and securing a toilet seat adjuster for smaller bodies will allow your child to access the toilet, without having to be placed upon it. Always be supportive of your child’s independence level, but also be readily available to provide any assistance. Once a child is able to get on and off the toilet without any assistance, we gradually start asking them if they would like to sit on the toilet for a longer period of time. “No” is usually the normal response, but it is beneficial to offer each time after a diaper change.  A child feeling comfortable by solely sitting on the toilet is a positive step towards toilet learning.

Accidents are expected and cannot be avoided during toilet learning. Interrupting a 2 ½ years old concentration to ask if they need to sit on the toilet, will often be followed by a powerful and resistant “NO!” And suddenly, moments later, they stare you, with wet pants… Regardless of which bodily waste appears, remain calm and simply state what you see: “Your pants are wet, it’s time for you to change your clothes.” We explain to our children that wet clothes cause rashes on our bodies, wet clothes are not comfortable for playtime, and wet clothes can make you sick. These accidents are an important way for children to understand how their body functions and how to respond to the signals their body is giving. When our toddlers have accidents at school, we provide support but also allow each child to care for their own body as much as possible. Changing themselves reassures their independence, and reminds toddlers of their responsibility during toilet learning.

Our role as the adult is to set our children up for success by encouraging their independence during this process. Like any new skill, toddlers require time and patience to master toilet learning. Following a consistent routine, having an appropriate environment set up, and using language that is matter-of-fact and free of judgment, will make the toilet learning a non-stressful experience for everyone.